Old Man Take A Look At My Life…

Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by Neil Young’s voice when I first heard him sing all those years ago. But, being that “Old Man” was released so close on the heels of my father’s death, it naturally caught my attention. And now, having been reminded of it again by my TV, it’s occurred to me just how much my life has come full circle from that time.

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What’s My Motivation?

The title to this post is from a recurring joke in my internal dialog, originating from some long-forgotten line in a movie about acting. In case you haven’t noticed, a major underlying theme of this blog is my confusion about (and outright resentment towards) the stupid roles we’re all forced to play in order to “fit in” with those around us.

Bookends?

I wonder. Could it be that living with such doubt in our minds is the very reason why we humans have always craved the comfort and support, imagined or not, of life in a community? In the end, I don’t know. I also don’t know if my paranoia, by isolating me from the “evil” influence of others, has actually helped me through the years, or if maybe, just maybe, a few more “Gibbs slaps” from others might well have done me some good…

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We all have memories we’d rather not dwell on. Memories of decisions we’ve made that have haunted us ever since. And I think we all wonder how things might have been different had we, or others, made different choices.

This Is Your Life 101…

Well, I haven’t posted since Mother’s Day. I’ve been a little busy with doctors appointments, new medications, catching up on my DVR recordings (that I got behind on worrying about all of that), and dreading all the damned appointments to come. Those who know me, and manage to give a shit anyway, will understand why what follows are apt reflections of the turmoil going on in my head…