It occurs to me that there may be one or two people out there who’ve been wondering what’s up with the dramatic drop off in postings for this blog, so I thought I should at least make some attempt to explain it all… Well, to be honest, I’m not exactly sure that I can.
I suppose I could say that my efforts to get both my physical and mental health problems under some sort of control are disrupting my life to the point where I just don’t have the time anymore, and there’s certainly some truth to that. But the fact is that, despite how big a chore taking my meds and checking my blood sugar and blood pressure may seem, they don’t really add that much to my day.
The truth is that what has really changed is all in my head, or, more precisely, how what’s going on inside my head is reflected to the world outside my head. Not that I was aware of the change mind you. In fact, when I talked to my son about it yesterday, he stunned me by reporting that he’d noticed a dramatic change in my behavior but had been reluctant to say anything about it.
After thinking long and hard about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really haven’t changed at all. What has changed is my willingness to be perceived as an “Apocalypse Andy” by the rest of the world…
My son and I shared a good laugh when I showed him that video. But then he reminded me that the only real way my shrinks can determine that my meds are working is if I appear more “normal” to them than I did before – as in not constantly saying things that freak other people out. Which, of course, is pretty much all I do on this blog. But the problem with that is that deriving therapy from expressing the craziness in my head is the very foundation upon which the blog is based.
I was about to post something short, featuring that video, and making fun of the whole issue yesterday, right after that conversation with my son. But then the news reminded me it was the anniversary of the day when all my dark forebodings seemed to come true…
What to do? What to do?
I want ice water.
More from the Random Ravings volume