Well, I haven’t posted since Mother’s Day. I’ve been a little busy with doctors appointments, new medications, catching up on my DVR recordings (that I got behind on worrying about all of that), and dreading all the damned appointments to come. Those who know me, and manage to give a shit anyway, will understand why what follows are apt reflections of the turmoil going on in my head…
“I’ll tell you once more, before I get off the floor…”
I hope you all had a very nice Christmas. As for mine… Well, it hasn’t been so great. You see, I had all these plans for a nice post series concluding with a big “spectacular” similar to my Christmas Presents For Everyone! of last year. Unfortunately, what I got instead was a recurrence of a little thing I went through 3 years ago…
That’s “End Of The Month” for those who can’t read my mind. That time of the month where I struggle in futility to figure out, for the month ahead, how to cover way too many expenses with way too few resources. As I’m sure you can imagine, when this crap is added to the usual craziness going on inside my head, the EOTM can become a time of especially high anxiety.
But hey, at least I can exhaust myself searching for just the right “reflections” for what I’m feeling…
Well what do you know friends? I was awakened this morning by a call setting up the next appointment in my seemingly never-ending dentistry saga… The thing is, we are talking about me – you know, the “urban hermit” who never leaves his apartment except to stave off starvation or to reduce the stench from accumulated garbage! – actually making multiple trips away from said apartment to, of all things, intentionally allow strange people to jab needles into, and yank things out of, my mouth! 😯
Now I could go on and on and on and on about how agitated I get just thinking about it…
Fink’s “Sort Of Revolution” is one of those songs that just seems to go well with situations of high anxiety and anticipation. I’ve posted shortened versions of it myself, in SG-U: A New Metaphor For The Human Condition? and in Spinning Our Wheels On Spaceship Earth, and it was used again to close out last week’s episode of The Tomorrow People (which I finally got around to watching last night, before laying down for another night of restless sleep).
Anyway, those of you who read yesterday’s 99 Problems… post will understand why I woke up in this morning wishing I could just stay asleep until something worth getting up for happens. I imagine that this song would probably be playing in my head all through that long hibernation…
Having been diagnosed with several of these disorders myself, as well as having been born into a family with a long history of (mostly undiagnosed) mental illness, this is, unfortunate, a subject with which I am all too familiar. It is my hope that efforts such as this will help open the eyes of those who just can’t seem to understand…
I know that some of you might not have understood the reason for the worry I expressed in my Ooh Child, Things Are Gonna Get Easier… post. But for those of you who did, I’ve got an update for you:
Ooh-oo child. Things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child. Things’ll get brighter Ooh-oo child. Things are gonna get easier Ooh-oo child. Things’ll get brighter “Ooh Child” lyrics – The Five Stairsteps We’ll it’s that time of month again, and while I won’t repeat what I’ve already said here, here, and here, I will say that…
In response to a question about the meaning behind the title (and content?) of this video, fellow blogger Cool Berman gave this simple yet profound response: “Se faire un sang d’encre : to worry excessively // to be worried sick” Having spent so much of my life locked up in precisely such a state, I…
I Want Ice Water! 