First of all, yesterday was my birthday, so Happy Birthday to me! Thank you very much. I did actually mean to post this yesterday, but just couldn’t find the motivation. You know how it is… Anyway, back at the beginning of my journey through the Hell of mental illness, one of those ‘crisis’ counselor people…
Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by Neil Young’s voice when I first heard him sing all those years ago. But, being that “Old Man” was released so close on the heels of my father’s death, it naturally caught my attention. And now, having been reminded of it again by my TV, it’s occurred to me just how much my life has come full circle from that time.
I wonder. Could it be that living with such doubt in our minds is the very reason why we humans have always craved the comfort and support, imagined or not, of life in a community? In the end, I don’t know. I also don’t know if my paranoia, by isolating me from the “evil” influence of others, has actually helped me through the years, or if maybe, just maybe, a few more “Gibbs slaps” from others might well have done me some good…
Man, things are going well. Almost too well, I think (you know how I am). It should come as no surprise to you that all this “success” has left me just a little bit suspicious. You know, there just has to be something really scary lurking, somehow, just below my awareness…
Life, my friends. It begins with such soaring possibilities. Only to rapidly sink to absurd and embarrassing lows…
I was watching the second of Saturday night’s two episodes of Doubt (a series that I found has already been cancelled while putting this post together) when one of the characters did something that was so much like something I’d do – something I’ve done so many times – she said what she really thought at the worst possible time!
How could I have been so insane, so arrogant, as to think I could actually achieve, here, something so grand as to demand your recognition, all the while knowing it would require of me the kind of courage I’d never been able to muster before. And yet, in the midst of this terrible sense of failure, I can’t help but miss the effort…
As any of my readers will know, I watch a lot of “edutainment” style TV, including, but certainly not limited to, The Science Channel and The National Geographic Channel. The thing is though, while the programming does actually teach me a thing or two from time to time, the real benefit I get from watching…
Leon Russel’s “Tight Rope” has been playing over and over in my head for a least a week and I finally realized why this morning: the died on November 13 and the song was no doubt planted in my subconscious by my habit of falling asleep with my TV tuned to CNN. Truthfully, I’d be…
To all the moms and those who love them…
I Want Ice Water! 