First of all, yesterday was my birthday, so Happy Birthday to me! Thank you very much. I did actually mean to post this yesterday, but just couldn’t find the motivation. You know how it is… Anyway, back at the beginning of my journey through the Hell of mental illness, one of those ‘crisis’ counselor people…
Like human females, while enjoying a night out, a lady rhino should always take care…
Weird thoughts: Do ‘corn-fed’ cattle suffer from high blood glucose problems? Do dairy cows that are ‘corn-fed’ produce sweeter milk? Does that have anything to do with my having been warned off of milk as well, causing me to have to take Vitamin D supplements now? And finally, if milk produced by ‘corn-fed’ Iowa cows really is sweeter, than how does that effect the taste of Wisconsin cheese made from that milk? Yeah, I’m not supposed to eat cheese either, dammit!
What to do, what to do? Should I just accept that no relationship is perfect and that things are as good as they’re likely to get? Or should I start contemplating a “2nd Amendment” style remedy? I wonder, what would Ted Kaczynski do?
In the pursuit of happiness, adopting the roles presented to us may seem to be just the on-ramp we’re looking for to the success we both want and need. But, deep down, I think we all know that we can never get off the “road to hell” we’re actually on that way.
Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by Neil Young’s voice when I first heard him sing all those years ago. But, being that “Old Man” was released so close on the heels of my father’s death, it naturally caught my attention. And now, having been reminded of it again by my TV, it’s occurred to me just how much my life has come full circle from that time.
The title to this post is from a recurring joke in my internal dialog, originating from some long-forgotten line in a movie about acting. In case you haven’t noticed, a major underlying theme of this blog is my confusion about (and outright resentment towards) the stupid roles we’re all forced to play in order to “fit in” with those around us.
Man, things are going well. Almost too well, I think (you know how I am). It should come as no surprise to you that all this “success” has left me just a little bit suspicious. You know, there just has to be something really scary lurking, somehow, just below my awareness…
We all have memories we’d rather not dwell on. Memories of decisions we’ve made that have haunted us ever since. And I think we all wonder how things might have been different had we, or others, made different choices.
Life, my friends. It begins with such soaring possibilities. Only to rapidly sink to absurd and embarrassing lows…
I Want Ice Water! 