As I’ve said too many times to count, I watch a LOT of TV. However, and as inexplicable as it may seem to those who’ve borne witness to my insanity here on this blog, I don’t actually watch that much in the way of comedy programming. Sure, I always record my favorites like Two And A Half Men, Mike & Molly, and The Big Bang Theory, but it’s not at all unusual for me to allow weeks to go by before I actually get around to watching them.
One explanation for why I’m like this comes from the (paraphrased) words of a friend, speaking from his own experience with this disease:
“A depressed person can be sitting across the room from a huge bottle, with a label saying ‘Cure For Depression’ in giant letters on it’s front, and still be completely without the faith and/or motivation required to retrieve and use it to end his suffering.”
Another way to explain it derives from the definition of the word “trigger,” as it is used in recovery circles everywhere. You see, in the same way we avoid putting our hand into an open flame after having been burned, people with depression tend to avoid, like the plague, those things we know can lead to “the bottom falling out” of our moods. Unless you’ve experienced that for yourself, then no combination of words on a screen can adequately impart to you what it feels like.
Fortunately, and with great thanks to aFrankAngle (posting about a COMPLETELY different subject), I now have a video that comes as close to demonstrating what that’s like as anything I’ve ever seen:
Even with my medications, the danger of having the bottom drop out after an extended emotional high is often more than I dare to risk.
Having said all that, I did actually watch the latest episodes of both Two And A Half Men and Mike & Molly last night, a full week after they originally aired, and managed to have myself a damned good time, thank you very much.
You know, I’ll never understand how those malignant and mean spirited Gods of Youtube can justify preventing us from embedding so many of the great clips they have available. I can only guess that the producers of these shows believe they already have all the attention they need.
I also watched an episode of another of my favorite comedies last night, one I haven’t seen in months because of it’s even higher “risk potential”: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I laughed so hard that I feared my neighbors might decide the strange “invisible man” next door had finally lost it and call the cops!
But dammit, then I remembered how another set of malignant and mean spirited Gods, the Gods of Government Busy-Ah-Crazy, have prevented many of my foreign readers from enjoying that wonderful show. That’s just plain pitiful, and it’s the primary reason why I haven’t used their stuff on my blog for a while.
Well I’m afraid I’m gonna just have to apologize to all my friendly foreign readers, because last night’s episode was just way too funny and way too topical to pass on this time! Unfortunately, they’ve switched over to those annoying “non-gigya-compatible iframe” embed codes, so I’m afraid everyone will have to “click through” these screen captures to watch the clips at The Daily Show site itself.
I hope they make you laugh as much as I did:
C.N.I.: Cable News Investigators & Dick Cheney's Heart
'The media analyze George Zimmerman's 911 call and don hoodies, following the Trayvon Martin shooting in Florida; while in other news, Dick Cheney gets a new heart.'
C.N.I.: Cable News Investigators - Hoodie Threat
'Following the Trayvon Martin shooting, John Oliver and Wyatt Cenac report from Florida on why it is that only what black people wear turns scary.'
You know, I thought that I would wake up in a really foul mood this morning. But instead, I felt good enough to start writing. And, over the coarse of the day, this post has grown far beyond what I intended when I began. I’m sorry for that, but throwing myself into this has probably saved me from a very bad day. And a “self-therapy” journal is, after all, the purpose of this blog.
I just wish the process hadn’t been riddled full of annoying PC freeze-ups!
I want ice water.
More from the WusAMatta U volume
I Want Ice Water! 
I’m touched to think this all started with a visit to my blog, which sparked a question. I gave you an answer, and must say that you did this very well …. especially since the post ended on an up note.
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I had actually planned to post the Daily Show clips after I saw the show last night (before I knew about the code changes), but your post really helped to clarify the reasons I steered clear for so long. Thanks! BTW, the “Dark Side” reference in the title refers not only to the subject of depression, but to the hilarious “hoodies” bit in the first clip as well. 😀
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It is always a delight when IzaakMak posts and even better when you are in a great mood. And damn it, I always wanted to be invisible person next door!!!!
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Now don’t get me started again Loon. The neighbors might really call the cops this time! 😯
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I can imagine the 911 call….We would like to report laughing coming from the invisible dude’s place. It’s just not right!!!!
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Oh, and I’ll bet they’d offer up lots of “juicy (though totally imagined) background” info too!!! 😀
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Oh, damn, I managed to miss the last two nights of Stewart and Colbert. I tend to watch the 11 and 11:30 (MT) airings, and because they’ve already aired at 9 and 9:30, the schedule always says “rerun.” They and The Big Bang Theory are the only comedies I make a point of watching. I guess I’m just a humorless old biddy. But I’m glad to hear you watched and enjoyed.
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There was a time when I set my DVR to record both of those programs starting at 11pm, but I ran into conflicts when I decided to have it go an extra minute on my 10pm programs so I’d be sure to catch the endings – damn those broadcaster – cable company time mismatches! When I tried to catch the “wee hour” reruns, I ran into similar conflicts with the show’s I was already recording the “wee hour” reruns of because they came on at the same time as the major network programs that don’t get rerun in the “wee hours” – damn my DVR for not being able to record 4, 5, 6, or 7 programs at once!
You think I watch too much TV? 😳
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I never watch tv unless it’s the History channel…my geek is showing. I too suffer from bouts of depression, dysphoric premenstrual disorder. I’ve got it under control with exercise, diet and crawling under the covers when I can’t fight the demons. But it’s only once a month. You seem to be managing quite well. Your blog is great therapy, for me and for you, dearheart. 🙂
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Wow, thanks MZ! I feel bad that I wasn’t aware of your issues, but it does sound like you’re handling them quite well. It really blows me away to “hear” that you don’t watch TV. I could probably, maybe, possibly, cut back on the TV a bit, if my Internet activities weren’t so frustrated by this evil PC. Heaven forbid that anything might actually drive me outdoors! Exercise? What’s that?!?! 🙄
It does occur to me though, that if I could manage to live without my Cable/Internet package for a few months, I might actually be able to save up enough cash to buy a new(er) PC AND TV. But the thought of several months without either is almost too horrible to contemplate! 😯
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I gave up Face Book after I started blogging and that was really hard. But it was controlling my life and I don’t miss it at all now. You should try it but then I’d miss the vicarious tv viewing!
And my prob is not that bad. That’s partly why my doc thinks I’m bipolar but he’s really missing the mark so I fired him. Not that I have a prob with mental illness since it is in my family but bipolar symptoms don’t crop up at age 44, do they?
Love love to you, my dearheart.
PS DONT GET RID OF YOUR INTERNET! I would miss you muchly!
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I really hesitate to say this, but I don’t trust the doctors I’ve been dealing with any further than I can throw them. And boy would I love to see how far that is! Of course, I’m stuck with the assembly line medicine from the VA so I may not be representative of patients with REAL doctors… 🙄
As far as losing the internet is concerned, it won’t do me much good if this thing goes belly permanently. This is my second try at posting this response because it froze up again. And that’s about 8 or 9 times so far today!
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Real quacks, you mean. The only doctors I believe to be the genuine article are Witch Doctors. Hey, maybe one can fix your f’ing PC!!
xoxo! Beckie
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PS: Calling Dr Bombay for you right now!
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I loved that guy! And your instincts are dead on too, considering how many of my doctors seem to be of Indian descent! Apparently we’re not the only ones who like that name either. I was shocked by the number of Dr. Bombay wannabes there were on YouTube. This is the best short I could find:
Of course, for pure comedic value, nobody tops good old Uncle Arther:
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I totally fucking get it-bought the book and saw the movie! The hangover from an emotional high is evil,at best. And every time it happens, I still feel shocked by it. I am constantly looking for comic relief to juice me up-but the comedown is awful and amplifies the depressive state,without a doubt.
You said it perfectly!
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It’s always nice (???) to meet another member of the Dark Side Coaster club. Isn’t it funny though, how we never seem to meet during the actual ride itself? Of course, the teeth gnashing, screaming, and hair pulling does tend to interfere with socializing a little bit! 😆
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As a perfectly “normal” (not quite sure what normal is though 😀 ) person I can’t imagine the high and the lows that you are talking about even though my dear grandmother had massive depression attacks that when calling in on her you were praying that she would be ok’ish and not in one of her low periods of talking about ways to commit suicide with your 12 year old grandkid, had some really interesting conversations with her that freaked me out immensely as a kid. But even with her so close to me I just can’t imagine how it is for someone. Thanks though for still trying to explain it. I do appreciate it.
But bring on the comedy dude and laugh those neighbours away 😀 Think I will do a Big Bang Theory episode now…
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I imagine my family and friends felt pretty much as you did with your grandmother when I was going through the worst of my own nightmare. And I can SO relate the her “list of exit strategies” too. For me at least, having that list always in the background is an inescapable part of my disease. 😕
And oh yeah, I’ll absolutely be checking out the next Big Bang Theory when it airs – complete with “Mini Spock” and a Leonard Nimoy voice-over! 😀
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I know that it’s tough for you but yes, the family is also hit quite hard but you do seem to have a really reliable family and a slightly odd-humoured son around (*double fucking rainbow*) so you are lucky. And of course you do have your old tin can of computer trying everything it can to help you out 😀 Shouldn’t we have a raffle day someday on your blog for a new computer LOL.
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I wish I was that lucky my friend. I don’t know about a raffle, but I had thought about adding a “Donate” button to my blog. I have no idea how to go about it though. 😕
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yeah me neither, we have to start a charity in your name ‘Save the mak’ 😀
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Well, I’m just old school enough to accept, but probably not ask for, all the help I can get! 😀
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I’ve never suffered from depression, but I know (very dearly) someone who does, and you may have given me a little insight which might be very helpful. Thanks for that.
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No, thank YOU Alex. That means more to me than I know how to express… 😀
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Any advice on how to reach someone in this state?
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As a general rule, I think engagement in life is the best way to deal with depression. Beyond that I dare not say, because every individual has distinct needs and backgrounds. Professional counseling, with plenty of input from family and friends, is always the best place to start. The sites in my “Mental Health Resources” blogroll can help too…
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Thanks Mak 🙂
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You’re welcome. Good Luck! 😀
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Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve dealt/struggled with depression for pretty much the majority of my life. Therapy helped me, so did exercise but I still get those cycles where even getting out of bed is a struggle at times. Somehow, I guess by the grace of God, I still push through. Even I’m amazed myself.
During my bereavement period, I did discover the Big Bang Theory! OMG, I love that show. Me and the Mr. are like the Penny and Leonard in our relationship, true story!
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Thanks Vera. It’s been awhile since I opened up with so much detail and it felt really good. And I so get the “amazed” thing. You could not have convinced me, back when “the bottom fell out” the first time, that I’d still be alive all these years later.
“Penny and Leonard?” Really?!?! You guys must be such a hoot to be around! 😀
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Triggers–I hear you, there. I, too, delay watching certain things for that very reason.
I always embed Daily Show clips using VodPod because I’ve never been able to figure out how to embed in Word Press directly. Maybe that’s a good alternative for you?
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Like minds… Vodpod, eh? I’ll have to give that a try. Thanks poietes! 😀
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