Here’s another one from my Inbox featuring the great wisdom of Maxine:
Blessed Are The Cracked,
For They Let In The Light!
Twenty-Nine Lines To Make You Smile:
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
- I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
- You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
- God must love stupid people; He made so many.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
- Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
- Procrastinate Now!
- I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
- They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
- He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
- A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
- Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
- The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
- The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
- I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have,
especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
Have a Great Day!
I want ice water.
Thanks Izaakmak, you succeeded, I now have a big grin on my face.
My fav ….I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
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I’m so glad you liked it! I have no idea who created the original email, but they obviously spent a bit of time on it. I did my best to recreate that appearance.
I like the comic with “I keep hitting ‘escape,’ but I’m still here.” 😆
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I’m so glad you liked it! I have no idea who created the original email, but they obviously spent a bit of time on it. I did my best to recreate that appearance.
I like the comic with “I keep hitting ‘escape.’ but I’m still here.” 😆
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16.Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
Brilliantly poignant…
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I like the final words best 🙂
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I don’t usually go for those but that one was actually hilarious.
That Wrath of Grapes one was seriously brilliant!
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Brilliant and clever quotes! Made me giggle. Thanks!
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This is my personal favorite:
I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
So true…so true…
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Out of my mind…back in 5 sounds like the story of my life.
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Loved this. I am Maxine, minus the ciggie. I’ve used #4 off and on as a tagline on my blog for several years. I even have it on a little wooden sign on my wall, hung at a crazy angle, of course.
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Ha! This brings back memories! I would read these cards in the store when I was little!
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am so gonna be nicer to pigs from now on… ‘Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.’
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Hiliarious! I’ve been having too much fun reading all of your posts! So nice to “meet” you! Ha!
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“Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.”
I know, and it takes all the fun out of life that we cant 😦
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Hello Izaak,
I love Maxine. I have been perusing your blog and I very much like it!
I have put you on my blogroll and reader.
Roger
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haha—I love the coffee-maker one! Funny shiz 🙂
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Pingback: Geek Squeaks’ of the Week (#67) « What's On My PC
I think 2 might just become my personal mantra.
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Oh Jeez Master, you just reminded me that I never caught up with these comments after one of my frequent psych walkabouts… Which is precisely why #2 is my personal mantra too! 🙄
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