What’s My Motivation?

The title to this post is from a recurring joke in my internal dialog, originating from some long-forgotten line in a movie about acting. In case you haven’t noticed, a major underlying theme of this blog is my confusion about (and outright resentment towards) the stupid roles we’re all forced to play in order to “fit in” with those around us.


I wonder. Could it be that living with such doubt in our minds is the very reason why we humans have always craved the comfort and support, imagined or not, of life in a community? In the end, I don’t know. I also don’t know if my paranoia, by isolating me from the “evil” influence of others, has actually helped me through the years, or if maybe, just maybe, a few more “Gibbs slaps” from others might well have done me some good…

Back In The Saddle Again?

Man, things are going well. Almost too well, I think (you know how I am). It should come as no surprise to you that all this “success” has left me just a little bit suspicious. You know, there just has to be something really scary lurking, somehow, just below my awareness…

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We all have memories we’d rather not dwell on. Memories of decisions we’ve made that have haunted us ever since. And I think we all wonder how things might have been different had we, or others, made different choices.