The Pride Of Our Species?

A couple more of those funny emails from my friend Rosie… 😉

Subject: The Joy Of Being Self-Employed


The Joy of being Self-employed

The Newfoundland Department of Employment claimed a boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to St. John’s to investigate him.

Government Agent: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.”

Boat Owner: “Well, there’s Clarence, my hired hand; he’s been with me for three years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Lamb’s rum and a dozen Labatt Lite every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally.”

Government Agent: “That’s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one.”

Boat Owner: “That’ll be me. What’d you want to know?”

Subject: Deep Thinkers


What deep thinkers men are… I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said ‘nothing’. The reason I said that instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she would have said ‘about what’. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.” I rest my case.

Time for another beer.

Deep Thinkers

To which I couldn’t help adding…

I want ice water.

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5 thoughts on “The Pride Of Our Species?

  1. Pingback: The Beauty Of Nature – Video | Weconomies

    • Don’t know about the birthing side of the equation, other than having witnessed the birth of my last three kids. I know that all of them have accidentally shown me what the other side feels like!!! 😥

      Like

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