It Ain’t Easy Being This Good

“You can put a cat in an oven, but that don’t make it a biscuit.”

– Sidney Deane

“It is hard God damn work, making something this pretty look like a chump!”

– Billy Hoyle

Quotes from White Men Can’t Jump

The title to this post was near the top of the Wikiquote page where the above quotes are from. I have no idea what connection it has to the movie, but it seemed a perfect link between the quotes and what I want to write about.

You see, I’ve got a confession to make. A big reason for my withdrawal from society was all the “acting” required to be anything close to a “successful” member. Not that I wasn’t good at it, mind you. I was so good at it in fact, that I began to have trouble distinguishing between the characters I played to fit in and the real me I kept hidden inside.

When it finally happened, my breakdown was like the scene in Galaxy Quest where Sarris tortures Mathesar until Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) admits that the “historical documentaries” the Thermians had modeled their lives around were all just lies. The problem was that it happened entirely in my head – with me playing all three roles!

The thing is though, the only ones I could admit the full truth to were my therapists. I tried, in my poorly executed attempts to rebuild my life, to provide “glimpses” of the truth to those I cared about in the hope that they could fill in the rest for themselves. “Glimpses” of what I really thought of myself, of them, and of their beliefs. But my half measured efforts only resulted in making matters worse, ultimately creating a distance between us best described as…

That’s when I realized that, until I’m able to be as brutally honest with other people about what I think and feel as I am with myself, relationships will always be more trouble than they’re worth.

But still… I do get so terribly lonely… Especially at times like these… When people everywhere are gathering to celebrate… And to remember…

Anyway, I saw Gotye performing “Somebody I Used To Know” on Saturday Night Live again last night. I was so impressed with them the first time that I added it to my this of things to post. This seems like the perfect time to finally do just that…

You know, somehow I can’t hear that song without also thinking of this one:

Happy Memorial Day Everyone

And Please… Be Safe

I want ice water.

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20 thoughts on “It Ain’t Easy Being This Good

  1. keep true to yourself but also to the ones close to you.

    I’m one of these people that don’t tell people if I have trouble either at home/economically/or just in my mind. I keep everything in for myself which ain’t good, I’m trying to improve so that my friends don’t get to see just a facade of happiness but I don’t want to intrude with my trouble to them. I know… they are happy to listen, maybe they can’t help but it does feel better to confide in someone instead of just blocking it off in my own mind where it does more damage than good… I’m trying to improve and guess you do as well, it’s hard laying off the layers that you have created and showing the true self as you really are, it’s a daunting task… but have a great day now and remember you are not alone…

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  2. I’m with you on this one. Sometimes I got so tired from all the fakery I have to deal with when meeting people that I started blogging as an outlet to pour my thoughts that I wouldn’t even bother say to them. I tried and they just didn’t get it. I’m not saying I gave up with the people in my life though, it’s just there’s this other side of the many I have that I’d rather not have them know about. I think it’s not a bad thing, either. And great videos; Gotye drew me to this post. I basically love his music.

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    • Thanks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but it’s nice to know that someone else feels similar frustrations. The thing is that the “real” me has so many sides that I wonder if anyone could ever “get” me – know matter how much they wanted to or how hard they tried. And how could I ever bring myself to tell the people that I care about how pitifully limited their lives seem to me? Sure, they’re all so much more “active” in the world than I am, but we all have these amazing brains and they’re doing almost nothing with them! It’s a struggle just to hide my disgust…

      Sorry. I didn’t mean to go on a rant… Think I’ll go check out some more Gotye… 😕

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      • Haha! I get you – knowing that you’re not alone is always a welcome thing, isn’t it? I don’t really blame others for not getting other sides of me though, even I couldn’t get it fully well myself! 😉 And true, if there’s anything I would like to abolish in this world, it would be the narrow-mindedness some people have.

        But yes, a rant is always helpful for the soul (a quote I got from someone in one of my ranting posts, lol). Have a good time with Gotye (been listening to this single song for two hours now!). You have a great day! 😉

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        • Oh yeah, it is so great to get got! I don’t know if you’ve ever checked out my contents pages, but if you do you’ll find that I’m chock full of radical thoughts. I even have an entire volume dedicated to major rants! 😀

          Did you see Gotye on SNL? If you didn’t, the link I included will let you see it. Also, you might want to check out hid YouTube and Vimeo pages (see my response to Rincewind).

          BTW, did you notice the “additions” I made to this post? 😉

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  3. I get it. We must be on the same wave, dude. My world is sometimes out of kilter with the rest of the humans’ planet and I feel like I’m walking among zombies. Only my therapist has the balls to raise her eyebrows at what comes out of my mouth. The rest either never hear it cuz i don’t say it or they pretend to be deaf. 🙂
    I loved this post, IM. You’re the best, all of you, in each and every moment.

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    • I do believe you do MZ – I was just reading your latest post! 😀

      Thank you so much. I just can’t describe how wonderful it is to hear that!

      Sorry, I couldn’t help myself… 😳

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      • That emoticon is the greatest! You always have the bestest replies, my man. I may not be in exactly the same place as you but I’m somewhere in your galaxy, right next to Venus. Ha ha! xo-Beck

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  4. When I hit 50 I decided enough was enough and that the real me would be present. if she is not to some people’s taste (oh that happens a lot) then to hell with it. It is less exhausting being me even if my colour is off putting. Cause the ones who aren’t put off…well they are so fulfilling to my life the rest seem colourless…

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  5. I love that Gtoye vid, but the Meatloaf song always bothered me. It’s like almost should be good enough. Maybe that’s just me.

    As for these holidays, unless it’s Christmas or Thanksgiving, I kind of roll right on through most holidays unless someone calls it to my attention, as in “Are you doing anything for fill-in-the-blank?” And I always think to myself, “Why?”

    The truth is that probably more of us wear masks and hide our true selves more often than not, just few people realize it, and even fewer admit it. Remember, it’s not easy being green . . .

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  6. Pingback: Honoring Our Soldiers | I Want Ice Water

  7. Pingback: Happy memorial day « Erotixx

  8. I slapped you the first time you posted Goyte and I’m gonna slap you again. that song has been played so often Down Under I swear it is going to be our national anthem in London!!!
    So as revenge …..

    You stay safe too IzaakMak xxxx

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  9. What’s unnerving to me is the two coping mechanisms you’ve described are ones I’d be quite happy to embrace, but haven’t as yet. Living alone definitely appeals to me. I’ve either been a carer, a caree or a weird hybrid of both my entire life. For a change it would be nice to be responsible for myself, and myself alone. And as far as adopting a false persona goes, I already do online, as most of us do. Jake Kale is a construct, and a recent one at that, but in many ways he feels like a more accurate version of me than the one my family and friends know. What that indicates about me I don’t know, but for the sake of my sanity I choose not to find out!

    PS: Happy Memorial Day sounds… a little off, but again, maybe that’s just my state of mind. Either way, hope you had a good ‘un!

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  10. Pingback: Gotye Overdose! | I Want Ice Water

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