Old And Stinky Wet Dreams?

We all have… “things” in our past that we’re not exactly proud of, right? Well I’ve just finished watching an episode of Louie that reminded me of one such thing from my past. It happened during one of the many, MANY, very lonely “dry spells” of my youth. I was working part-time at one of those “drive-up window” carry out stores when an older woman started coming on to me. The freaky thing is that her attraction to me was based on her belief that I was the “spitting image” of a painting of Christ she had on her wall!

Well, you’ve all heard the old saying about “any port in a storm” haven’t you? To make a long and sordid story as short as possible, I ended up having sex with a woman I wasn’t really that attracted to – on her living room floor under that painting of Christ – all because I was so lonely and horny that even sex with a delusional woman twice my age wasn’t out of the question! Did I mention that this wasn’t one of my “finer” moments?

Anyway… I’m much older and wiser now, right? So why is it that I know, in my heart of hearts, that I wouldn’t hesitate to accept this “shoe on the other foot” proposition Louis CK was presented with:

Now I’m WAY older than Louie. I remember when $3 would get me in the movies AND pay for all the drinks and junk food I wanted. I was so fed up that I QUIT flying after they banned smoking on planes. And dammit, I absolutely REEK with the smell of death!

Surely I’m as deserving of an old and stinky wet dream as Louie is!

I want ice water.

More of my Random Ravings

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12 thoughts on “Old And Stinky Wet Dreams?

  1. This was laugh-out-loud funny! Seems to confirm my suspicions that each new generation gets more different from the last one and that we have probably reached the point where today’s young people are pretty much like aliens to my ancient cohort.

    Man! I’m 75! If Louie turned her on like that, imagine the effect of . . . OMG! 😆

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    • Oh, if you only knew PT. I worked for that carry-out chain (mostly at that particular one) during the year I took off to “reassess” my college priorities, but after too many, similarly unbelievable, “entanglements” like that one, I decided that I’d better get on back to school before someone’s boyfriend, husband, (or father!) decided I’d look better dead! 😯

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    • I had a psychologist once who liked to bullshit about his sexual prowess–bragging that he could smell any woman’s vagina from any distance, etc. Anyway, he once referred to wet dreams as “dreamin’ and creamin'”–I found that term disgusting at the time, but looking back it’s hilarious!

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    • Thanks Scott. Sorry for the delayed response, by my hunk-o-junk here decided it didn’t want to “stay lit” anymore last night – leaving me in one of those “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” situations! 🙄

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  2. ok, finally I can comment on this (damn computer to freeze up, was afraid to come back to this page 😀 ) but that was such a great video and yes, we all probably have to less finer moments in life. Hey, if someone would ask me for sex I wouldn’t bat an eyelid before saying yes… 😀

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    • Copy that my friend! Wouldn’t you know that my damned power would go out just as I was about to reply on your blog, on Facebook, and here? And then, just to rub salt in the wound, my PC also froze up before my first attempt to respond here was done! Argh!!!! 😡

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