You all know about my ongoing PC problems. Lord knows I’ve bitched about them often enough. Well, yesterday was another one filled with frustration. So, around 8pm last night, with “moderate to strong” thunderstorms predicted to be moving in (which could knock out the power anyway), I decided to just leave the damn thing off when it froze up and sat down to watch a couple of baseball games on TV instead. Now as I said, we were expecting storms to come through, which could possibly cause the power to go out, but when the lights went out all over the area around 8:30pm – a full 2 hours before the storms were predicted to arrive – it came as just a bit of a surprise! 😯
So, there I was, sitting in the dark, wondering where the hell my flashlight and candles were. Well I never did find my damned flashlight (another casualty of my son’s having lived here I suspect), but after lighting the few candles I could find at strategic spots around my apartment, I settled down into the maelstrom of my raging inner dialog, hoping it would all be over before I drove myself crazy – a thing that people with mood disorders (like me :oops:) do so awfully damned well! 🙄
It’s not so much that my thoughts were unusual in and of themselves. After all, they were the typical head-slap ramblings over being “unprepared” for emergencies, being too “dependent” on others, and not “measuring up” to all those ancestors who were able to thrive without all this technological crap. And, running on their own separate track, were all my whining complaints about the games I was missing, the favored shows my DVR was not recording, and “What the hell is taking those incompetent assholes so log!” 😈
Anyway, the outage lasted roughly 3 hours or so. Not such a long time for “normal” people perhaps, but a virtual goddamned eternity for someone with only psychotic “voices in his head” to help fill the time! And do you know what the craziest form of self-torture my sick mind conjured during this virtual eternity was? It was this damned sickly-sweet song from the Hellboy II: The Golden Army movie I’d watched the night before:
The funny thing is that I’ve always liked Barry Manilow’s music. And I can’t help wondering, now, if my subconscious was punishing me for my dependency shortcomings… or for steering clear of Barry Manilow because liking his music is so fracking un-cool! 😯
I want ice water.
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