My Body Is A Cage

I know there are those who might think that a show like House could be a bad choice for a severely depressed, barely recovering addict like me. I readily admit that there may just be some merit to that argument, especially when it comes to Monday night’s episode. But sometimes I swear that the Gregory House character is like the “inner me” set loose upon an unsuspecting world – And I Like It!

Anyway, Monday night’s episode ended with House jumping off that damned balcony while this great Peter Gabriel song played in the background:

For those who didn’t see the show: Relax, it’s not as bad as you think. Just remember who we’re talkin’ about here! But I don’t want to spoil it for you, so you’ll just have to wait for it to be available at House TV Series – Full Episodes. πŸ˜€

I want ice water.

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29 thoughts on “My Body Is A Cage

  1. it was such a great episode, messed up but great… and was wondering where I had heard that music and should have realised that it was Peter Gabriel, it’s such a killer song…


    • Once again my friend, it’s one I’d never heard before. Apparently it was done before by Arcade Fire, and I had to sort around a bit to find the version from the show. It was only then that I realized it was Peter Gabriel! πŸ˜€


  2. That is an awesome song. My luck though if I plunged from a balcony, “your eyes” would play. (Actually I like that song too, but you know).
    If you ever need somebody, seriously, let me know, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you. I’m almost always around.

    House is too deep for me. I am better at reading depressing books than depressing shows.


    • That’s funny. If it was me, I’d probably get “Another One Bite The Dust!” πŸ˜€

      I really appreciate your offer, and I hope that I’d have the strength to reach out if it got that bad. You know how it is with big egos thinking that no one would understand. I haven’t been able to do much reading lately. I get waaaaay too engrossed and emotional! πŸ˜•

      Fortunately, my ego’s not nearly as big as House’s! And I can always pause the DVR when it gets too intense. πŸ˜€


  3. I love the sound of Gabriels voice in this; never heard it before.

    Thanks for liking my final post on Autism Rox… I’m setting up the new site and will let you know….for obvious reasons, I do not wish to leave trails!!!

    It’s sunny here today. I might just go outside for a few brief minutes and move some messy things about the yard, just to make me feel like I’ve accomplished something other than moping all week. Sorry your moods are eating at you like this. I know the feeling, I know how compromising it can be, to the whole quality of life, and the danger there is to go and resolve those feelings with a substance. Maybe you can let your friend stop by or meet her for a designer water somewhere, if ever so briefly. Getting away from myself, talking to someone non-judgemental, really is the most helpful thing to stop the mind-chatter, I find.

    Blessings, S.S.


    • That song has been playing over and over in my head ever since I first heard it! The weather is very nice here today as well – dry and 66Β°F, but a little windy. I may just go for a walk! πŸ˜€

      I wish there was someone that could and would stop by to help me get out of my head for a while. Unfortunately, the people I know who’re physically close enough to my location would probably just make things worse.

      I hope to to hear about your new site soon! πŸ˜€


  4. If I jumped the song playing would be Nineteen Hundred and Eighty-Five by Paul McCartney, a song that has a hypnotic ability to change my mood and make me dance like an idiot, and I would be falling through the air and think, “Aww, man, that’s a pretty good song. I forgot there were some good things in life despite all the crap.”


  5. I’ve been resisting commenting on this post — First, love this song, but Peter Gabriel rocks (not a question) and I’d heard this song before somewhere. Second, I’m so OVER HOUSE! I’m so sorry (see why I was resisting?). I do watch it without fail on my DVR, but I mean, maybe its that I live here — I have no idea, but obviously I knew exactly what was going to happen when he jumped during the previews! I think his drama is just getting a little boring for me. I guess what started me getting annoyed with him is there is NO REASON on the planet why such an accomplished fantastic and brilliant woman like her would go for such a messed up idiot! I just don’t believe it. And if there is ONE redeeming thing that I’m finally loving about the show is that she is finally walking away from him. Uggghhh! I guess I just don’t believe that story line and haven’t for so long. She should be with Wilson (and even his friendship to House is bizarre — they just enable him to the enth degree!).

    Okay, apologies! With that said, I do like Hugh Laurie and think he’s brilliant. But the show could do better — and I know people really like this season (it’s doing well in ratings) but I’m just looking for something different — with that said, I would never jump off a balcony unless it was exactly for the reason he was jumping (and NOT for what we thought) and therefore there would be no need for music.

    I’ve gone skydiving before (video posted on my facebook page) and the music to that was pretty cool (Eminem & U2). Maybe those two songs would be my theme music — it’s kind of the same jumping that House did so….

    (see, why I hesitated on writing a comment? I so went off on a tangent, huh? Sorry!).

    Carmen (Eminem’s Lose Yourself, U2’s Beautiful Day)


    • This is bothering me so much so I had to come back into my house to write a little more — I need to be a little more specific.

      It’s not that I can’t believe she could fall in love with him — that part I believe. What I can’t believe is his childlike behavior on the one hand, and then his very grown-up behavior when it comes to work. Dr. House is this genius who then acts like a numbskull brain for no apparent reason. And now, boom, he’s depressed and taking his pills again. I want to believe that it’s a complex character, and goodness knows I love complex character (there are so little on TV) but the truth is, I don’t believe it. And it has to do with the NON-INTERWEAVING of his psychosis with his practice. There just seems to be such a disconnect: how he treats patients, how he treats his staff, how he treats the love of his life, how he treats his best friend. It feels like random crazy behavior –and yet, the hospital allows him to run-amuk to save special cases? And his friends continue to enable him, allow him to do this — over and over and over again?

      Best storyline was when he was getting totally in trouble with that police officer a couple of years ago — It was so well played, great storyline — I believed it. Then, they fell into the total cliche trap of his “recovery”…. BLAH.

      I look forward to HOUSE now that Cuddy is finally done (She has a child for goodness sake! How could she possible risk…okay, I won’t go there…).

      Hee! Hee! Don’t hate me Mak! I promise to be nicer and the point in the future…



      • Purge the thought from your mind! I could never feel anything towards you but love my dear. I do disagree that there’s a disconnect between the way he treats people and the way he tackles the medical challenges in front of him, but hey, that could just be me impressing my quest for deeper understanding, which seems so similar to his, onto a fictional character. As for why the other characters, especially Cuddy, puts up with his antics, I’ve often asked myself the same questions when it comes to the people in my own life. And your condemnation of House’s behavior, which seems motivated by the same things that drive mine, is why I no longer impose myself on other people – regardless of how much they claim to care about me and want me in their lives. I’ll take isolation over torture any day.

        Oddly enough, as much as I loved the episode that inspired my post, I was not nearly as impressed with last night’s episode. While I was still entertained and it did have a scary ending with all sorts of philosophical implications, I found House’s antics to be even more juvenile that what you previously described!


        • Mak,

          Isolation is NOT the answer — well, in my humble opinion anyways. Here’s the thing: What you saw in last night episode is just an overt expression of what I was talking about — juvenile is exactly it. And, in my experience, not very believable.

          Obviously, I do not know your situation — but in my experience with “House-like” people, they generally don’t get such leeway.

          Again, I don’t “know” you, but although you say that you understand House and may have even implied at times that you are somewhat like him, I would say that’s NOT true at all. You show through your writing at least, compassion, love and understanding of other people’s feelings. The character that House has evovled into is one who is continuiously crass, and void of any substantive understanding of the people who love him. He’s gone from being a genius of understanding the human spirit, to a mean person who just constantly messes with people’s heads. That’s what bothers me about him. Not his depression or deep seeded issues.

          Here’s the thing: House isn’t the first person to be depressed or to go through what he’s going through. That’s not to make light of it at all, or not to make it less important, but to garner a sense of hope. What the show has done to the character (in my humble opinion) is by making him be more outrageous for cinematic and story affect, they’ve also made him less…I can’t think of the word, but I don’t connect to him because he’s just…hollow. His character isn’t DEEP anymore, it’s just a shell of an idiot. Like last night in that monster truck. That was ridiculous and made no sense. That wasn’t a man struggling through something — to me, that was a bad writing choice to make me be alarmed. Disconnect.

          The same goes for Wilson and Cuddy and his team. Although I agree with you that TV is DRAMATIC and therefore needs the leeway, part of what makes good television good is it’s believability. I don’t believe anyone on that team would have stayed this long given his character. I don’t believe Cuddy would allow him to get away what he’s gotten away with for so long, etc. etc.

          Do you remember the show (or did you ever see the show) All in The Family? This may be way too off tangent, but I was just a little girl when that show aired or maybe it was re-runs, but I watched it and I can still watch it today and although I think Archie Bunker is a racist and way over the top, that character still holds true and I believe it! I believe it whole-heartedly even though I can’t fathom knowing such a person..and then I can.

          That’s all about character development and writing. That’s what my point is.

          And you my friend (and I will call you that) may have your issues — but what I know for sure is this: you are not like HOUSE. Not even close.

          In the beginning, I could relate to House too. That’s how good shows become great shows — because we all can identify — and I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t identify with House at all anymore ..still like the show, but I’m hanging on by a thread because he annoys me more than compells me to think.

          Kapish? (I only said “Kapish” cause it sounded like the right thing to say there, but I have to tell NOT my style at all! Hahahahahaha!).

          I adore who you are — I love your blog and I love that I know you — even if it’s just a little. But I know you enough to feel very sure about this much, you have a heart of gold — you’re deep and thoughtful, compassionate and creative. You’re insight and the way you share — that’s anti-House. If you’re depressed — well, okay. But House, you are not! I’d stake my life on it.



          • Oh Carmen, you just don’t know how much it means to me that you can see me for the nice guy that I really am. And I’m so glad that you brought up the subject of All In The Family, another of my all-time favorite shows, because it might help me to better express what I’ve been trying so hard to say with these posts. Would it surprise you to know that the character of Edith Bunker is the one from that show that I could relate to the most?

            Try to understand that I’ve lived with an almost compulsive need to be “the nice guy” for as long as I can remember. Growing up trapped in the middle of raging family and neighborhood conflicts that I wanted no part of, all the while knowing that none of the parties involved were anywhere near as “right” as they claimed. Living with the fact that any attempt on my part to speak up only brought pain to myself, and never, ever, wanting to cause that kind of pain to anyone else.

            While duplicating House’s antics is something I’d contemplate only in my wildest dreams, the absolute fearlessness with which he challenges the falsehoods people are all too comfortable living with is a character trait that I can’t help but admire. You say that “isolation is not the answer” but, until I can develop the courage to call them as I see them and let the chips fall where they may, isolation is the only answer my conscience can live with!


            • I do understand — but with much love & respect, I do disagree. First, House in my opinion, is not fearless or challenging falsehoods. You can’t do that unless you know who are and understand yourself completely, which the character House does not. What he does is push people’s buttons and react as to not have to deal with his own feelings (especially lately!). How remarkable a character he’d be if he actually was that introspect. But instead, he’s just a bully — who actually is a genius Doctor.

              And you may call what you do or go through as isolation — maybe I have a different definition. Most people would say I’m an extrovert, but the people who know me best, know I’m an introver — any testing I’ve ever taken also says that. I spend most of time alone. It is what makes me SHINE when I am infront of the world. And what people confuse is the lasting impression I leave (sorry for my ego here) but it’s not actually my constant emergence of being around people. That need to be alone doesn’t make me someone who isolates themself — actually it makes me someone who needs to be alone to refuel, to feel comfortable and to regenerate. I have embraced that wonderful part of me — I know I don’t function well when there is so much chaos or drama. I am a better person when I spend time by myself.

              But we are social beings. And even if all you do is share this part of yourself in your blog, then not only am I grateful for the beauty you bring to the world (your job afterall) but I’m positive this is not isolation. I know I read you because I need your words, your ideas, your thoughts to make me think, to be and to feel. It’s what we do.

              So, do I believe you had to move away, get away or isolate yourself from people who were “bad” ? Yes. I did too. Many of us did. Many of us still do. But you my friend, are normal in this, but unique in so many other ways. It is that unique-ness that makes you who you are and makes you part of this fantastic fabric of life!

              No, it doesn’t surprise me that you identify with Edith. We all did. Edith was the rock. Edith knew better, but was kind, loving and all encompassing of all that was good in the human spirit, next to the abrupt, racist, yet loving man Mr. Bunker. He that was CHAOS. Edith was who we all wanted to hug and tell “WE UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH, WE’RE HERE FOR YOU”. It’s what we all want in life. The ability to be loved, but also to be like Edith and love regardless…

              I want to apologize upfront for my “therapy-esque” posts. But I can’t help it Mak. This is what you do to me. You make me better by being a part of my life — that my friend, is not isolation.

              In my humble opinion.

              Hugs and much love,


            • You’re right Carmen, we ARE social beings, and connecting with great people like you through this medium has been a real lifeline for me. At the same time though, as my friendships here have flowered, that need to belong has acted more and more to inhibit what I’m willing to say here – just as it did out in the “real” world.

              One of the things that attracted me so much to blogging in the first place was the freedom to take as long as I needed to make my point, without the fear of being shouted down before I finished or getting my butt kicked for daring to challenge closely held beliefs that I feel are harming everyone and everything I care about.

              You probably aren’t aware of it, but the majority of my early posts were written from the perspective of a ranting, raving, just-barely-avoiding-suicide, lunatic crusader for truth. That’s a difficult persona to maintain when you’re friends with the folks you’re preaching at. It would be so much easier if I didn’t care what people might think – like House. And it’s downright scary to think that the people I’m now friends with might not be aware of who I really am…


    • Hey, it’s TV. It’s meant to be dramatic and thought provoking! I knew that there was no way they were going to kill off their money maker, but they did do an excellent job of implying that he might be just that crazy!

      Skydiving used to be one of my “bucket list” objectives, so I’ll have to find my way to your Facebook page to check that out! πŸ˜€


  6. oh Mak…I thought you might be…upset with me for ranting too much. So glad you’re not, or at least forgiven me a bit…

    So, feel free to delete this, but I thought I’d share the link if you’d like to see the video. But remember…I’m somewhat of a dork, but I did check it off my list!



          • Well Mak — I can’t respond above so I’ll just write here…

            For the record, I did know. I read as many of your posts as I could. It’s why I like you! Because I get it, even if our experiences are somewhat different, just like Edith in All in the Family, I connect because I feel. I feel like I can understand it. . .

            My only discrepency with what you’re saying is this identifying with House thing — and I’m not saying I have any valid reason to make some sort of knowledgeable diagnosis or anything — however, knowing people as I do, what I’m saying is HOUSE DOES care what people think. He pretends he doesn’t care, but he does.

            And here’s how I know I’m right: Because it’s part of our human condition to care. We’re social beings. House is an imbacel (Excuse my spelling) because he denies that he cares and instead of dealing with his real issues he reacts, changes focus, plays games and in the process hurts others. But truthfully, he’s just hurting himself.

            We all care about what others think. Again, it’s what makes us brilliantly human. We need each other and sometimes that means needing attention from someone, needing to care or to be loved or a whole bunch of other things. But when we deny that, as HOUSE does, we’re consumed with the lie: that we don’t need anybody, that we don’t want anybody, that it’s better to be alone, that life is not worth living… and it goes on and on. But see, to me, that’s the easier way to go. To be House. To keep believing the lie. And to behave accordingly.

            Now, I’m not saying depression and pain and trauma and all those things don’t exist and that it isn’t hard — and I’m not trying to negate whatever it is you have gone through — I would never do that. But getting back to House, what I’m saying is, he cares. He wants to be loved for who he is — no holds barred. But here’s the thing: we all want that. But it’s hard to love if you isolate yourself. And is there risk? Of course. The risk is understanding that not everyone will love you back. Some people do and some people don’t. Again, that’s what makes life so brillianly magical sometimes. Part of living is learning that there’s pain, but if you can hold out just a bit, then you can see that good stuff trumps bad stuff most days. At least for me anyways.

            House enjoys playing the victim because it’s all he knows. And sometimes it’s easier to stay in what we know, than to branch out and try something knew. And of course, that’s sounds so simple — even as I write it — but I know it’s not easy.

            I love that you write – -and write everything and anything you want and share whatever parts of you that you dare too. It’s brilliant. And if this is the medium for you, then this is what works for you! There are no rules in how we contribute to the planet, just that we do. But all I’m saying is, if you were an isolation before — I would say now you’re not. It’s not how much I see you or touch you, but it’s how when you do share, do I get your message? Do you help me, change me, contribute to my life? And I would say yes. And here’s the cooler thing — it’s not just me you’re affecting…it’s so many people. And maybe that’s not your intention, but it’s what we’re here to do in whatever capacity it is we choose to do it. And maybe, this is your medium! Lucky me to have found you!

            I may sound like I’m so sure of everything I’m saying or whatever, but the truth is, it’s scary for me too. My life hasn’t been a bowl of flower and puppies either. But I’m here..and while I’m here, I’m gonna make the best of it. And yes, I’m a foolish optimist, but I can’t help it!

            Now I’m gonna go to bed. I’m sorry this went on for so long… and then again not. I hope you’re not too annoyed with me, because I really do care what you think of me!

            My final question of course is: when are you going skydiving? I’m telling you…changed my life. I’m not even kidding!



            • Well, you’ve certainly proven that I’m not just wasting my time writing for this blog Carmen! I really don’t know if I’d ever gather the resources (and courage) to go skydiving, but I’m going to research what’s available in my area – just in case! πŸ˜€


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