When The Madness Comes

I haven’t been feeling well as of late. In fact, I haven’t felt well for quite some time. But not to worry, because as much as I hate having to do it, I’ve got an appointment to see my doctor at the VA Outpatient Clinic on next Monday. It’s my own fault for putting it off for so long, and allowing my nagging health issues – and the worry over them – to gradually become a huge source of frustration.

Less important in the larger sense, perhaps, but undoubtedly more frustrating from a day-to-day perspective, is the fact that this damned PC keeps freezing up on me at the most inconvenient times. My PC and my TV (don’t even get me started on my cable and Internet supplier!) are supposed to be the things that make my self-imposed isolation tolerable! Suffice it to say that my mood has been just a bit dour lately.

There are times when I get so frustrated, so angry, that I just want to go off and do some real damage! But before I do more than just fantasize about burning, killing, and destroying – just outright rampaging and pillaging in general, something deep inside always manages to remind me that that’s just not the side of the equation I want to be on.

And then I laugh, because I also remember this bit from one of my favorite movies.

I’m really not cut out for the dark side.

I want ice water.

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35 thoughts on “When The Madness Comes

  1. Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well — but I’m glad to know you’re going to the doctor’s. And sorry to hear about your “freezing up” issues! That sucks — hopefully all will be well and you’re just having “one of those days”… Now, that clip was hillarious! Although boys in tighty whities will always be quite fun and funny to look at! Ha!

    Happy day my IzaakMak!

    Carmen

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    • Always great to hear from my Carmen! I’m not sure which is worse, being sick or having to deal with my doctors, but I’ve got my fingers crossed. The thing with the PC is an ongoing issue that neither I, or the manufacturer’s service center, have been able to figure out. It’s a work in progress…

      Alice’s Restaurant, the movie, is based on Alice’s Restaurant, the album. I actually liked the album better because a collective of movie people just can’t beat my imagination. I highly recommend it!

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  2. When one is feeling emotional distraught for whatever reason, everyday problems become major fuckups. Hang in there boss, there are lots of us hoping for the best for you. Tell the nice VA doctor the story, and nothing but the truth OK?

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    • Thanks my friend. It’s comforting to know that I really do have friends that care. I’m hoping for the best outcome from my doctors visit, but I must admit that I’m more than a little pessimistic about it. The fact is that, for all the concern that they might have, the system they work in just doesn’t allow them the time to really listen. Without that, what can I really expect?

      But my humor has rebounded quite a bit, at least for now. And, although I plan to be completely truthful with them, my mind is already fantasizing about yelling “You can’t handle the truth!” when they ask for it! πŸ˜€

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  3. I sooooo gotta see this movie, seems hilarious and kinda reminds me of one of my mates in the army, he tried more than 8 times to get discharged. Playing psychotic, bad health, bad manners against the officers, plain stupidity, etc. He never got discharged but went awol instead and got arrested (he stole a tank and actually managed to get halfway through sweden before they could stop him), one way of getting a discharge I guess.

    Anyway, hope you do feel better soon, even though we never have meet, I feel like I know you so my best wishes from me.

    Like

    • Thanks. Your best wishes mean a lot to me.

      I has a couple of friends like that as well. One of them actually got himself a discharge! He never would say how he did it, even when I ran into him years later (we were both from my hometown). I think his folks were loaded.

      I think you’d like the movie. For that matter, I think you’d like the song. I heard the song first. After hearing it so many times, I just had to see the movie.

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    • Thanks loon. I’m working on it. 😦

      I had to look up Bud Cort. I recognize his face and many of the movies in his filmography, but I can’t remember the characters themselves. I do get the feeling, however, that Arlo would come up a bit short when comparing acting abilities. πŸ˜€

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  4. Haven’t let the rage out for a rampage in quite some time. Likely because every time it starts to escape its enclosure, my system remembers how very lazy it is, and then I just grumble for a while. That or I log onto an online game and take the rage out on a bunch of whiny teens. The way they bitch and moan when you lob a *Candy Gram* into that bunker is absolutely priceless.

    Being sick blows even more. Ive managed to avoid that for a good while now, but having been on a three week long coffee drag (caffeine is such a cruel task master when it become a temporary crutch) I can commiserate in part. Hope ya feel better bud.

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  5. Bugger !!!

    Was in the middle of writing a comment when my computer crashed.

    Ggrrrr !!!!

    Anyway, all I was trying to say is that despite your ‘self-imposed isolation’ you’re not really alone – there are online ‘friends’ who are interested in your welfare and wish you well. Don’t feel you have to fight your ‘demons’ alone. Draw strength from wherever it is offered

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    • Thanks for that Duncan. And rest assured that I value you and my other on-line friends very much. I may struggle to find the words to express it, but I never forget. πŸ™‚

      And I know what you mean about crashes while commenting. It’s happened to me many times. It’s damned hard to appear witty when your tools are working against you! πŸ˜†

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  6. Pingback: Geek Squeaks’ of the Week (#79) « What's On My PC

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