After recently taking a look back at the post I wrote as my “profile” for those who might be interested, If You Really Must Know, I’ve come to the conclusion that a profile can never be anything more than just a snapshot of a person at a particular moment in time. And the more detail that’s included in that snapshot, the more quickly it is apt to reveal it’s flaws.
The thing in particular about that post that has inspired me to write this one is that damned photo I included with it! Don’t get me wrong, I do so love that photo, since it shows me looking so thoughtful and wise – just as I’ve always wanted to be perceived! But, as I’ve spoken of so frequently, I’m trying to move away from being an “urban hermit” and on to a more “sociable” existence – even if it has been at somewhat of a snail’s pace.
Anyway… I got to wondering about what other folks might think when they see that photo, and it occurred to me that, contrary to what I see, they might actually think of me in this way:
Now I admit that I was just as caught up in that sense of “belonging” as everyone else way back when Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young first released that song. And I will admit that I kinda like the idea of being associated – in any way, and at any age – with the image of Stephen Stills.
But for me, the age of long hair acceptability was actually just a great excuse to wear my hair the way so many of my childhood heroes had.
And even in their more recent incarnations, they really haven’t changed all that much:
Unfortunately, those days are so long gone that – these days – “the look” I’m wearing so proudly in that photo is more likely to evoke an image like this:
Which is why, a couple of months back, I finally got around to cutting my hair!
Okay, I know that you’re probably not as shocked by that statement as the exclamation point implies that you should be. But if you reflect back on some of the more personal stuff I’ve written about myself, you just might begin to understand. You see, I don’t make “casual” changes! I also don’t develop relationships with community service providers the way other people do. And when it comes to my hair, I just don’t trust it to some stranger merely because they have a barber’s license. So, just like most of my previous haircuts, I did it myself!
But it’s been a while since I last gave myself a haircut, and many things have contributed to my having lost some of the patience and steadiness of hand required to do a good job of it. This, quite naturally, resulted in those inevitable oh shit! followed by I can fix that! combinations that eventually transforms a neat little “trim job” into that awful Boot Camp look!
The net result of all this is that, as punishment for the horrible way I’ve treated them, my locks have retaliated by doggedly maintaining the “look” depicted here as they grow back:
I guess that’s what I get for trying to change myself to suit the expectations of other people. Even my hair seems to hate me now!
I think it’ll be while before I update my profile image.
I want ice water.