A Passion For Pain?

A quick look around my blog would reveal to anyone that I’m a just a wee bit of a perfectionist. Correction: I’m an insatiable fanatic about having everything I touch end up being absolutely the best that I can manage. I can’t help it. That’s just the way that I’m made.

And when it comes to that which I am the most passionate about – my writing – there is no limit to how far my obsession with having every word be just the right word, and having every document look just the right way, will take me. And when you consider that I’m working from a seemingly endless list of subjects that I’d like to write about, using equipment that’s barely up to the task, and the fact that very few, if any, people will ever read what I write, sometimes just sitting down to start a new post can feel like I’m going where no one in his right mind would choose to go.

So I ask myself: Why in the world do I keep doing it? Is there something wrong with me? Do I have some kind of Passion For Pain? Frankly, the best answer that I’ve been able to come up with is: I do it because I love it. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. For me, there is nothing in this world that can be a greater reward for effort spent than to see what I’ve written there on the screen for all the world to see. It’s literally as simple as that.

But I’m not without the happy thoughts, and the inspirations that drive them, to help me keep on trudging along. Here’s just one more example:

Yes – I’ve Seen All Good People

I. Your Move

I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way

Take a straight and stronger course to the corner of your life
Make the white queen run so fast
She hasn’t got time to make you wise

‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and its news is captured
For the queen to use

Move me on to any black square, use me any time you want
Just remember that the gold ‘sfor us to capture all we want, anywhere
Yea, yea, yeah

Don’t surround yourself with yourself, move on back two squares
Send an instant comment to me, initial it with loving care
Don’t surround yourself

‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and its news is captured
For the queen to use

Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda

Don’t surround yourself with yourself, move on back two squares
Send an instant comment to me, initial it with loving care
Don’t surround yourself

‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and its news is captured
For the queen to use

Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda
Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda

‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and its news is captured

II. All Good People

I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way

I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way

I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
Yea, yeah

I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way
I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day
So satisfied, I’m on my way…

I want ice water.

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8 thoughts on “A Passion For Pain?

  1. Good Morning Mak.
    Just wondering, what all have you been diagnosed with? I know you’ve told me before and I have read it on your blog but just wondering. I hope I’m not being too intrusive.

    Like

    • Hi Bats,

      Funny you should ask that, since I’m waiting for my ride out to the VA for round 2 of my resumed treatment. I spent so much time on Friday with the medical side of thing that I didn’t have time for MH. I’m still out of my anti-depressants and I haven’t slept a wink, but at least they’re providing the transport.

      Diagnosis short lists: On the MH side, major depression and borderline personality disorder. On the medical side, pancreatitis, type 2 diabetes, hypertension, COPD, and my good buddy arthritis.

      Got to go. I’ll probably write about today’s events. How long it takes me to do so depends on how traumatic the experience turns out to be.

      Later 😐

      Like

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