Well it looks like those of us looking forward to humanity finally getting the apocalyptic pounding we deserve at the end of the Mayan calendar are going to be disappointed after all. According to the Mayan Calendar Doesn’t Actually End in 2012 – Sorry, apocalypse watchers report by newser:
“Good news everyone: the world will (probably) not end in 2012! The millions of people no doubt living in abject fear of the end of the Mayan calendar can breathe a sigh of relief, because the conversion of dates from the Mayan calendar to our calendar could be off by 50 to 100 years, a new textbook argues. They’re not sure when the calendar actually ends, only that the current estimate is probably wrong.”
Good news?!?! Err… how wonderful! I guess we’ll all just have to die alone as usual or, if you really insist on taking everyone with you, resort to “other means” to bring on the apocalypse. But take heart my friends, the world is just chock full of wacko “end of the world” religious cults who are literally dying to bring in new recruits. And they’re all working very hard to bring about our demise… the old fashioned way:
I want ice water.
You sound disappointed with the news like me LOL
Actually, this works well with my ultimate plan. And with the way we’re going here in the states, we’ll probably elect a “tea party” member president in 2112 anyway. A whack job in command of the world’s largest nuclear arsenal! Who could ask for anything more?
Damn. Now I have to sell my underground time-share?
And what about all that food I was stocking up? I’m just supposed to eat it?
Oh well, at least I’ve got some good MRE recipes.
It’s amazing what you can do with cocoa powder, dry crackers, cheese whiz, coffee creamer, and Tabasco sauce.
Now let’s not be hasty here. The dream of taking my “urban hermit” bit outdoors again is something I won’t give up easily, so I’m still feverishly plotting to rid “our” planet of all its dead weight. Hell, considering who those “tea party” folks are willing to elect, I might even have a shot at the white house. And the survivors will really appreciate me appointing a “nutrition czar” who knows how to whip up a mean MRE!
Just thank your lucky stars they ain’t C-Rats. We ate them in Nam, with some manufactured in the late 40′s. Each had a small pack of cigs, and they were moldy.
Ain’t it wonderful how well we treat our men in uniform? No wonder we’re the envy of the world!
I’ve had c-rats too. I was given a box of them once when I was a kids. My grandfather found them in his shed. We thought they were great – I mean, there were all kinds of interesting things in there. We didn’t smoke the cigarettes though. But I really liked the canned cheese and canned crackers. It’s funny how they had to be round to fit in the can. Makes me glad I didn’t have to haul them around in my pack. All those cans added a lot of weight. MREs are pretty light in comparison.
I saw a documentary on The History Channel (I think) once about the evolution of food packaging, with specific emphasis on battlefield food tech. Fascinating stuff!
On the other hand, being a smoker with mixed feelings on the govs whole anti-smoking campaign, I’ve often wondered how many became addicted by way of the freebies given to soldiers.
Shit . . . now I gotta make other plans.
I know. Doesn’t that just suck? But you could help save everyone the trouble by joining my “Doomsday” campaign for the presidency. I can practically guarantee global thermonuclear war right after my inauguration!
About time for a new Doom’s day internet hype. I heard that the magnetic polar reversal is due in 2014. And it will cause all hard disks to start spinning the wrong way. So the data will be read backwards, revealing hidden satanic verses. Opening gates to hell, in every toilet bowl.
As Jon Lovitz would say, “Yeah! That’s the ticket!” A thorough hype job on that might be just the thing to finally send the lemmings over the cliff!
Or at least give them potty phobia.
Ha! And giving a whole new meaning to “scared shitless!”