Here’s another one from my Inbox featuring the great wisdom of Maxine:
Blessed Are The Cracked,
For They Let In The Light!
Twenty-Nine Lines To Make You Smile:
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
- I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
- Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
- You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
- I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
- God must love stupid people; He made so many.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
- Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
- Procrastinate Now!
- I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
- They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
- He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
- A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
- Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
- The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
- The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
- I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have,
especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
Have a Great Day!
I want ice water.
Thanks Izaakmak, you succeeded, I now have a big grin on my face.
My fav ….I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
I’m so glad you liked it! I have no idea who created the original email, but they obviously spent a bit of time on it. I did my best to recreate that appearance.
I like the comic with “I keep hitting ‘escape,’ but I’m still here.”
I’m so glad you liked it! I have no idea who created the original email, but they obviously spent a bit of time on it. I did my best to recreate that appearance.
I like the comic with “I keep hitting ‘escape.’ but I’m still here.”
16.Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
Brilliantly poignant…
I like the final words best
I don’t usually go for those but that one was actually hilarious.
That Wrath of Grapes one was seriously brilliant!
Brilliant and clever quotes! Made me giggle. Thanks!
This is my personal favorite:
I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
So true…so true…
Out of my mind…back in 5 sounds like the story of my life.
Loved this. I am Maxine, minus the ciggie. I’ve used #4 off and on as a tagline on my blog for several years. I even have it on a little wooden sign on my wall, hung at a crazy angle, of course.
Ha! This brings back memories! I would read these cards in the store when I was little!
am so gonna be nicer to pigs from now on… ‘Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.’
Hiliarious! I’ve been having too much fun reading all of your posts! So nice to “meet” you! Ha!
“Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.”
I know, and it takes all the fun out of life that we cant
Hello Izaak,
I love Maxine. I have been perusing your blog and I very much like it!
I have put you on my blogroll and reader.
Roger
haha—I love the coffee-maker one! Funny shiz
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I think 2 might just become my personal mantra.
Oh Jeez Master, you just reminded me that I never caught up with these comments after one of my frequent psych walkabouts… Which is precisely why #2 is my personal mantra too!