Great Thinkers on The Internet

The Great Thinker

What do you guys think of the Internet?

I must confess that I’ve never trusted the Web. I’ve always seen it as a coward’s tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable “on notice”? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?”

Stephen Colbert

George W. Bush

Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

There’s a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they’d eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn’t true.

Ian Hart

Patrick Murray

The trouble with the Internet is that it’s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

It’s been my policy to view the Internet not as an ‘information highway,’ but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

Mike Royko

Penn Jillett

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.

Rittner’s Computer Law: “Never argue with people who write with digital ink and pay by the kilowatt-hour.”

Don Rittner

Al Gore

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

The day I made that statement, [about inventing the Internet] I was tired because I’d been up all night inventing the Camcorder.

Al Gore

Kid Rock

I get Canadian porno – that’s the extent of satellite service and Internet in my house.

The Net is the ultimate empowerment tool. You have the right to express your opinion to a global audience, but everyone has the right not to pay any attention to it.

Don Rittner

Phillip Adams

The Internet provides a delivery system for pathological states of mind.

The Internet interprets the US Congress as system damage and routes around it.

Jeanne DeVoto

Bob Dole

The Internet is a great way to get on the net.

Few influential people involved with the Internet claim that it is a good in and of itself. It is a powerful tool for solving social problems, just as it is a tool for making money, finding lost relatives, receiving medical advice, or, come to that, trading instructions for making bombs.

Esther Dyson

George W. Bush

It’s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It’s not only life of babies, but it’s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.

We’re making a major move of the Internet, and runway.polo.com is a natural extension of both polo.com and our collection business.

Ralph Lauren

Don Rittner

No matter how well you know the rules of netiquette, you will eventually offend someone who doesn’t.

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

Unknown

Matthew Perry

I’ve just found out there are pages on the Internet dedicated to whether I’m gay or not.

Warning: the Internet may contain traces of nuts

Unknown

Jon Stewart

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

The Internet is the Viagra of big business.

Jack Welch

Jack Welch

It’s [the Internet] like the flu – it just spreads like crazy.

Just as the strength of the Internet is chaos, so the strength of our liberty depends upon the chaos and cacophony of the unfettered speech the First Amendment protects.

Judge Dalzell

Clifford Stoll

The Internet is a telephone system that’s gotten uppity.

On the Internet, Nobody Knows You’re a Dog.

Peter Steiner

Vinton Cerf

Science fiction does not remain fiction for long. And certainly not on the Internet.

A friend called me up the other day and talked about investing in a dot-com that sells lobsters. Internet lobsters. Where will this end? The next day he sent me a huge package of lobsters on ice. How low can you stoop?

Donald Trump

Will Hobbs

The Internet is like a gold-rush; the only people making money are those who sell the pans.

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn.

Dave Barry

Unknown

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, “people without lives.” We don’t care. We have each other…

Dave Barry

Eric Schmidt

The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn’t understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had.

My head hurts.

The Great Thinker

I want ice water.